I AM SORRY

BOND 27

Dear GOD,

I AM SORRY

…for offering what I thought was right and not the thoughts which are right. For giving what I think is best but for denouncing your place as first. I’m sorry for grieving you by not doing well, that is, to know what is right to be done but refusing to do so and rightly, too, until the chance and place is gone. Im sorry for assumption, the very “screw-up” in the machine of redemption. The one which denounces salvation time after time after time on the premise that what should be gotten has been gotten even when it is yet to be gotten. For denouncing the prowess of your only begotten, being gotten from the very core of your pronouncement.

I AM SORRY

…if I give what you do not respect, even if it suits me and the garment covers nothing. I’m sorry if I think for you and speak before you and not for you because to speak for you would be to listen to you then speak as you have spoken. I’m sorry if I took your place, if I trampled on your grace, if I led myself astray away from your arms, watching you – in dismay – trying to cling to me like a child to its favourite toy.

If you have done well

I AM SORRY

…that sin lies at my door: a siege waiting to become a surge. I think sometimes, I attract sin, I retract your win over me and I like being sort after by sin in all its glory. I think I let your glory go and hope your glory begs to be kept. I think it’s because I want to be sort after by everyone, to sort things with you after everyone has been sorted-out.

I think I kill myself when I let you go, I kill others when I don’t let you show, I kill them when I don’t let them know about you.

I’m selfish and to think that I have the way to the solution and hide it from everyone including myself.

Where is your brother?

I do not know. Why should I know? When did it become right to know. “I am not my brothers’ defender or keeper and if I am not it doesn’t make me an offender” says the the very one who is in need of a defender.

I AM SORRY

…if I dont share the burden of those you have sent to me, if I don’t shear their worries or if I do not care perhaps out of fear of being just as inadequate as they feel they are. I’m sorry if I think I’m unworthy to carry your divine goal or to strike out the very plan you formed me to execute. The only thing to execute is not my brother but your will. I’m sorry…

Cain Olatunde

P. S
Knowledge without implementation is like faith without works…

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