I believe what is worse – of all these – is that the closet sinner is plagued with guilt.
This guilt begets doubt and besets the human out of GOD’s plan. At this point, prayer (the point of communion with GOD) becomes impossible.
Speaking to GOD is impossible because the closet sinner runs from that very communication.
Perhaps this is done out of perceiving themselves as unholy or undeserving, or from the fear of changing. Yes, coupled with the fear of being progressive, there is a fear of being saved – the fear of salvation, the fear of being better, the swine-effect where the pig is upset by the pearls and stamps its feet on them till they hopefully break or crack.
And until salvation looks impossible, the closet sinner runs away: from themselves in finesse, from all those who see the best in them, from GOD because GOD is the best for them. The closet sinner is always on the run, always living as though chased; never thinking that being chaste and cleaned is beautiful, always expecting the worst and “being chastised” is hell because the truth burns, “oh it burns – may it stop!” they yell.
Does the closet sinner know the truth? Yes. In fact, it is because they know the truth and what is right (and are somewhat convicted by the truth) that they hide what they do which is wrong.
However, keeping up appearances is the worst of all forms of hell: the soul is tortured, to live a lie and resist to leave the lie or the life of it.
Even when the sins consume them from inside out until they fight themselves, the closet sinner seems to love it all. I believe that this is one experiment of the adversary that seemed to “defeat” the shadow of the substance of GOD’s redemptive plan in the Old Testament because if no one sees the sin of and by the sinner, they can swear, “nah, this person cannot do this“.
Thus, to keep up the false integrity, the closet sinner integrate the sins into the mind, it fills their porousness and it is hilarious to see – in this case – how evil is the fuel for good and bad intentions are the drives for good and how the irony of all this is why GOD had and has to hasten the feet of JESUS to come show the world how it was meant to be in the first place.
To be continued