I was burning incense. I was burning incense because it was my turn to burn incense in the presence of the LORD. I was praying. I was in the spirit at the beckon of the LORD, I did not reckon for how long but I saw an angel. I saw the angel Gabriel and I did not know that he or it – hard to tell – was the one. He told me strange things, showed me the future to come and how I had been selected to be part of the salvation of the world. I did not believe. I did not believe that such a great mercy and blessing could happen to me. I doubted both GOD and myself. I did not believe and for unbelief I was given a sign. I have become dumb for this, as a reminder that GOD has said something and it shall be done. Until it is done, this is my sign. My gospel of silence, my burden, my fire, my name. GOD made me speechless. Thank GOD, I’m not breathless so I can still testify even in silence. My sin is unbelief. My grim insistence on what I know as opposed to what GOD has made me know. My unequal uncertainty to the promise of GOD. My humanity holding brief against the plan of divinity.
I’m dumb (speechless), I am dumb (stupid), I am numb!
I am a man who preaches the faith. Who says, “we are made to be loyal messengers of the message of GOD which is life” but when it came to my turn to do as I say others should do, I failed. This is my cross, silence is my crucible. Obedience is my healing, my saving point of call.
This is how I became speechless: I asked GOD for a sign and silence was my sign. This is how I became speechless: I asked GOD if HE was sure and HE sure showed me how sure HE was. This is my sign: I saw a being who sees the presence of GOD and I could not sense the presence of GOD and in my absence of mind, GOD gave me a presence of HIS absence (incompleteness) as a measure for me and all who wonder.
I would speak soon, I tell you, I shall. Once GOD’s Plan begins. I shall shout soon, once it is completed. My first words would be an affirmation of GOD’s Plan and an attestation of His grand design for all humanity.