Carrying a cross the size of my sins

BOND 284

Today, I sinned; yesterday, I thought of sinning. Today I live; yesterday, I thought about living.

There’s a traffic of thinking and living for me, it is about time I said it for what it is: there’s an understanding between my actions and thought and whether I accept it or assent to it or not, actions happen because thinking happens. I think; I act then I act and I think. Thoughts and actions; thinking and acting are not separated without pain that comes with death. That’s how life is.

So when I say, “I’m a sinner”, don’t think of the acts of sin, alone; think of the art of sinning – embedded in my thinking. I think sin, I act sin then I am sin. I sin because I’m sinful and sin-full of thoughts of sin so much so that I act in sin and act out sin.

The sinner is a thinker and an actor (or actress, if we want to be indulgent). That said, you need to also know that sins begin with thinking: arrest sins at thought-point (not gun-point) and you would rid them of their mechanical excellence.

Why do I say all these? To glorify the work of sin? Never! I say this so you’ll understand the gloom that comes with being guilty of sins from simply thinking of sins. These days, you don’t need to sin before you sin, you only need to think of sin and you have sinned.

This is the point where we miss the work of sin and mix it with our inability to see every thing. This is where the judgement of GOD is most exemplarily ideal if we are to be true about the statement of sin and the sinner. This is where you see: where sin is sewn into the fabric of life because we all think of sin. How? Well look no further from your own self.

In you, is the automatic sequence to seek out pleasure from the best and worst of things: empowering self to be as powerful as detecting the pleasure for flesh more speedily than anything. In pleasing flesh, we must be friends with the world (the giver of said-pleasure), with friendship with the world comes enmity with GOD, in enmity comes separation and by separation, we have sin: lying at our door, lying into our ears, knocking at the door, seeking to enter into our hearts and become our thoughts, asking us to think upon it as a fateful servant for our pleasure against the measure of GOD.

If GOD is not seen in a thing then sin is that thing.

You see this realisation is grave, I’ll carry it to the grave but it has grave consequences. The knowledge of the sins that I think without acting; the sins I act without thinking…of their adverse effects to my love for GOD. In terms of sins and thinking of them, it’s not enough to say, “I love GOD”, you’ll… I’ll… we’ll have to show that we love GOD by loving GOD. To love GOD, we must stop thinking, acting and living (in) sin.

And where sin is a sickness, we need to be healed, cured and quarantined from the world in order to be pure. Where sin is a thought, we need to stop thinking. Where sin is an act, we must defer from acting. Where sin is our nature, we must be reborn into another nature. Where sin is our shame, we must bear it long enough for its power “to shame us” is powerless. Where sin is death, we must decide to live and have life, abundantly.

Where sin must be judged, I have decided to nail it to a cross: declaring it powerless, void, formless and darkness which is expunged by light and the declaration of GOD’s Word; brought by creation…the new creation wrought by my salvation – found only in JESUS. I am going to carry my cross, through cross-roads and crossed roads, through crossings of deep rivers and valleys between mountain-tops. I’m going to carry my cross the size of my sins; what a huge cross that would be: to hail JESUS as I move step by step in frail submission and obedience.

I’m going to think sin, no more; mortify my thoughts to be on good and pure things, alone; I’m going to act sin, no more; crucify my flesh to desire no urges of pleasure at the expense of GOD’s good measure.

I’m going to carry my cross of sins; GOD is my strength or else I’ll fall a second after. I’m going to think GOD, act GOD and let sin be hungry and starved in me.

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