RE: What Have you Done?

BOND 289

This is an incomplete spoken-word poem (an impersonation):

I’ve fallen/ I’ve sinned/ I’ve grinned at sin/ I’ve sinned and grinned/ (I’ve) been weaned but sinned. I’ve fallen/ I’ve risen/ Again, I hope to begin/ but being human is sick if I don’t live, meek/ I have owed morality a great debt/ I’m shallow-minded in the depth of myself/ this is death. I’ve believed, strictly, when I was shown/I’m a Christian yet I make choices – off CHRIST – on my own/I could make bread out of stone/ I did it five times, today alone/ I think earthly life is permanent even though it’s just a loan/ I’m just as messed up as wet clay mixed with creative hands/ I am less – of who I should be – yet I hope (that) GOD understands.

I’ve fallen/ I have risen

I’d fallen for a reason

I masturbate/ I fornicate/ and adulterate GOD’s love/ I steal/ I’m unreal/ I retouch GOD’s image/ hide my light/ walk by sight/ I’m a faithless fateful man/ my confession is just information/ you could walk past the intention/ I’m weary/ I have beauty/ but my perfection is fury/ I lie/I die every day, yup I’m Crucified/ horrified, mortified, hoping – in the end – I’d end up, glorified/ I could seek GOD first but I always want to hide/I’m in chains and ashamed/ I’m naked and maimed/ I need to flee sin but I’m afraid to be tamed/ by truth and GOD’s Spirit of liberty/ I’m conservative more than progressive and that is fine to conserve my progress.

I’ve fallen/ I have risen

I’d fallen for a reason

I’m sorry/ then I worry that I fall short of (GOD’s) Glory/ I’m remorseful not repentant/ imperfect but still jubilant/ my timing is terrible but I try to be indulgent/ I’ve been angry and bottled/ I got un-cocked and then exploded/ I’m a victim of deception and lies from the inception/ I’m in pains and regrets for all the limits of sin’s sanction/ I’m in denial and restive/ because worldly peace is tentative/ I just feel that if I could be left a little helpless I could find my way/ but my ways are crooked and my faith got looted by self-absorbing doubt.

I’ve fallen/ I have risen

I’d fallen for a reason

It was his fault and her fault/ until the woman came, you know, we were fine – by default/ it was the serpent’ slippery tongue/ that tempted me to do wrong/ it was the world that fought back my newness and reformation/ made light of the difference; they mocked my salvation/ and since I couldn’t beat them, I really had to join them/ sorry I’ve not been firm/ but the trials could overwhelm and the lies are brutal and convincingly through (my heart)/ so “true” is relative in this world filled with sedatives/ My blame game entry is a chain and I’m imprisoned/ I could blame you, too for letting all these happen if I didn’t know anything about freewill and the test for true love.

I’ve fallen/ I have risen

I’d fallen for a reason

But GOD if you could give me a second (chance) to explain/ I’ll try to board my thoughts in a train/ I didn’t know that disobedience was death and parts of me die in human delinquencies/ I confess in gore due to the consequences/ I refute my errors, sometimes, questioning your eminence/ I’m sorry if I thought I could cure rebellion with incense/ of prayers as if I hoped to choke you into submission. I’m a liar and a thief and I repent from these if you let me be as you ordained me to…

I’ve fallen/ I have risen/ I’d fallen for a reason/ I have reason to believe that falling was rising/ and rising is falling for those who rise by fallen means.

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